Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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