The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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