This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
