Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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