What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
