I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
