Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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