I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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