If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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