NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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