Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
