It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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