Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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