I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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