and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
