What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
