I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We don't watch enough power rangers
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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