mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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