i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
