this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
