Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my shit smells like andre
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
