It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I supernannyed him into submission
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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