she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
