so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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