I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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