don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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