How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
