dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
