You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
