I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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