The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I love you.
Bad choice
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