i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
