Where did you get a picture of my penis
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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