I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
