Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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