i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
