How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
