laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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