I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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