I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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