so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
