when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
