It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
