i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
