hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
