so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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