We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
