but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
