No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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