imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
They are going to name an STD after you.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
