Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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