ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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