party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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