on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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