My first STD was from a foam party
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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