Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How does it feel to date your dad?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
