those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
