I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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