May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
