If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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