yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We got so high we made milksteak
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
