I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I have already put on my inside pants.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him