Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation

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  (908): my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation http://tfl.nu/55rf
  Replies (12) Good night (1753) Bad night (728)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them

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  (469): Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them http://tfl.nu/zk8b
  Replies (7) Good night (2968) Bad night (771)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high

  (954): View more from Florida

  Yeah, I don't like babies at all

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  (404): I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high (954): Yeah, I don't like babies at all http://tfl.nu/6jzu
  Replies (11) Good night (3379) Bad night (831)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you

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  (203): just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you http://tfl.nu/8puo
  Replies (39) Good night (19806) Bad night (1191)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.

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  (920): call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing. http://tfl.nu/ctbc
  Replies (8) Good night (792) Bad night (2917)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me

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  (570): I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me http://tfl.nu/l4ts
  Replies (6) Good night (1156) Bad night (3492)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.

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  (973): gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops. http://tfl.nu/1v8v
  Replies (37) Good night (8907) Bad night (1132)
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  (646): View more from New York

  My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.

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  (646): My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS. http://tfl.nu/3g6q
  Replies (14) Good night (851) Bad night (6311)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.

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  (302): I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years. http://tfl.nu/sw0p
  Replies (4) Good night (846) Bad night (3389)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.

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  (276): Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you. http://tfl.nu/pes1
  Replies (7) Good night (2918) Bad night (956)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,

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  (412): Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage, http://tfl.nu/ten2
  Replies (15) Good night (4635) Bad night (967)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.

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  (732): you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic. http://tfl.nu/b9sf
  Replies (5) Good night (2093) Bad night (707)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?

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  (815): I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/jgbm
  Replies (10) Good night (786) Bad night (1204)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.

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  (520): I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special. http://tfl.nu/erlc
  Replies (8) Good night (3589) Bad night (589)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs

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  (918): i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs http://tfl.nu/moe6
  Replies (2) Good night (502) Bad night (337)

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