I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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