I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.