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• (636): View more from Missouri

  dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you

  (1-636): View more from Missouri

  when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced

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• (951): View more from California

  Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.

  (951): View more from California

  Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.

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• 

  These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...

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• (916): View more from California

  If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again

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  21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.

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