Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk