Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
