she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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