i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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