I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
