Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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